A Really Bad Day



0800. Gave: phone, computer, desk and printout of partial-manuscript a cup of coffee.

Phone and computer did not want coffee so refused to work; desk and partial-manuscript did not indicate a preference either way.

Unable to adequately express my frustration in English so resorted to Anglo Saxon, my command of which is second to none.

0805. Phone continues to refuse to work despite vigorous shaking.

Warm day, window open, threw phone through window narrowly missing wood pigeon who was roosting in cherry tree and idly defecating on garden furniture below.

0806. Computer still not working. Due to pain from fall while climbing, cannot lift same to chuck it through window.

Many birds now in trees – familiar as they are with my little ways – eagerly waiting to see if next object through window will hit cat sneaking through blackcurrant bushes.

0806 and a bit. Threw dictionary at cat.

0815. Struggled downstairs with computer and managed to get it to car.

0930. At shop where longhaired youth, with acne cropping at several bushels to the acre, sucked his teeth and announced that CPU and Motherboard were blown – but as they were older than his granny and long overdue for replacement that was no bad thing.

0932. Resisted temptation to punch youth and contented myself with casting doubts on his parentage.

Bought new phone – cost £29

Bought new computer – cost £300.

1030. Tried to reprint partial manuscript, – printer out of black ink.

Bought new cartridge and reprinted partial.

Total cost of morning coffee – £335

1120 – decided to moan in blog.

I will probably kill myself



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